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An unexpected family update

December 5, 2016

I’m sharing a message below from my personal Facebook page. I wasn’t sure how to share this info. as it was something that caught me totally off guard.

I wish I wasn’t writing this right now but I felt like it’s needed not only for me, but also for all the people who have always been there supporting our family. Ben and I are heartbroken right now, as we’ve lost the baby girl we were expecting. While we didn’t know her, we felt like we did & we were so excited to find out we’d be giving Braden a sister. It has been an unexpected, devastating experience to be in this situation after being more than halfway along in my pregnancy. It may seem odd to some that I’m sharing this on social media but both for Ben and me, it’s emotionally exhausting repeating this news over and over again so sending an email or via SM is just the easiest thing for us right now.

While I may not be able to respond to every call, text or message from everyone, please know both Ben and I appreciate your kind words, prayers and support. 

I’ve had so many people tell me they follow along on my blog, so I feel that I would be inauthentic by not being honest about something that has impacted my life so greatly. When I shared the news that  I was expecting, never did I imagine I would be in this position now. It pretty much knocks the wind out of you and it’s hard to articulate right now because it still feels like I might wake up one day to find out this isn’t actually happening since it’s still so fresh.

Thanks so much for your support. I’ll be back soon.

-LL

Family Thoughts Working Mom

August Rush

August 31, 2016

Not sure what happened to this month. It’s definitely been a whirlwind. There isn’t much of a point to this post, but I felt compelled to write it.

Why did I even start a blog to begin with? Because I really like to write. I have a lot of respect for bloggers because it takes a lot more time than I think people realize to plan and write a post and develop or shoot photos to accompany that post. Right now, I just haven’t been able to carve out the time to do that. I want to make time.  I know the blogs that I like following the most are ones that have more writing vs. images. That’s just me, though. I’ll get it together soon. Promise.

So, all I have for you today are words. Mostly jumbled up thoughts really. A lot has been on my mind.

I’ve been experiencing a lot of guilt lately. Mom guilt, that is,  because my work schedule has been insane the past couple of weeks, and I’ve missed more moments at home than I care to admit. The time I have  before work or after work is precious. I don’t work out as much as I used to because I spend that time playing, reading and smothering Braden.  But the leaving early and getting home very late and eating three meals a day outside of my home has really started to get to me. The guilt has been getting to me. I’m hoping to balance that out and get back into a better routine. This week has been better, but I feel like I’m recovering.

August has had some great highs but also some extreme lows.

My beautiful baby boy turned TWO. I can’t believe it. I just love him more and more each day. I celebrated my 11 year anniversary. We didn’t do anything particularly amazing to celebrate, but I’m okay with that. With the house building and work, things have been pretty jam packed so moments when we’re just at home with Chinese food and a Redbox are pretty amazing. I’m thankful to be at this place in life with a true partner.

Speaking of…

I have major appreciation for my hands-on husband who has really picked up the slack at home while I’ve been working a ton, especially the past two weeks. He’s a gem, and I’m very glad to have him by my side to be my sounding board, secret keeper and pretty much everything that balances me out.

Part of the blur that is August is that we lost someone very important to us. A close friend lost his battle with cancer. It’s made me think a lot about things, and it has pretty much broken my heart for his wonderful family. Cancer really sucks. I don’t know what else to say about it, except that it just really sucks, and family and friends are precious.

Tomorrow is a new month. A fresh start. I’ll be back with more. I promise. Maybe it’ll be light-hearted, or maybe it’ll be random thoughts again. I hope you’ll come back to read more.

LL